A close seeker arranged for a dinner without prior consultation and invited Hakim al Umma Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi (Allah have mercy on him).

Hakim al Umma reprimanded him for acting against the principles (for inviting a guest) by doing all the arrangements without approval. Moreover, he excused himself for the following reason.

The Shaykh said,

My household situation is (now) delicate (after the second marriage). This week it is the turn to eat at my other wife’s place. So far due to travels and invitations I have not been able to eat there even once. Today I had the intention to explain this situation to her (and try to get a approval) ,however, I was afraid that this might be attributed to neglect. As I expected, before I could say something she complained that all the travelings and eating invitations happens only during her turn.

The Shaykh added, These are the ways females (usually) act. I have made a intention to listen to whatever is said (and not reply). I do not want to respond back according to rules  and regulations. I desire not to break anyone’s heart or cause them anguish.

Husn Al Aziz, vol 2, p 91-2 (paraphrased)