Dangers of excessive grief

20121222-191359.jpg

Shaikh Mohammad Kaleem (Allah preserve him) a senior khalifa of Arif billah Dr Abdul Hayy Arifi (Allah have mercy on him) said to a brother who lost his twenty three year old son suddenly,

‘Excessive intentional discussion of the deceased is to be avoided. This is because of the remote possibility of development of a thought questioning the Divine decree. That is, why did this happen?

This will be against the patience required.

Therefore, be careful.

Every time his discussion comes up recite,
أنا لله و أنا اليه راجعون
contemplating the meanings discussed earlier.’

Shaikh Mohammad Kaleem sahib db’s residence. Darul Uloom Karachi, Sunday, noon, 18th December 2012.

Perimeters of grief

20121221-114057.jpg

Shaikh Mohammad Kaleem (Allah preserve him) a senior khalifa of Arif billah Dr Abdul Hayy Arifi (Allah have mercy on him) said to a brother who lost his twenty three year old son suddenly,

‘Your crying and grief on this loss is all right. Actually it is right of the departed relative(‘s love).

In spite of the right of Allah to do whatsoever in His creation He knew that they are weak and wavering human beings so three days of mourning was allowed. During these three days observe mourning, accept and acknowledge condolence.

After these three days do not mourn more on purpose and intention.

However, it is quite fine if his thoughts come to you unintentionally or he is discussed in usual everyday conversation. Each time this happens recite with contemplation (as mentioned earlier)

أنا لله و أنا اليه راجعون

This will bring the same immense reward for patience done initially. Doing this repeatedly will create a vicious cycle of patience and its reward. A continuous and immense reward indeed.’

Shaikh Mohammad Kaleem sahib db’s residence. Darul Uloom Karachi, Sunday, noon, 18th December 2012.

 

Real patience:safety from grief

20121219-231330.jpg

Shaikh Mohammad Kaleem (Allah preserve him) a senior khalifa of Arif billah Dr Abdul Hayy Arifi (Allah have mercy on him) said to a brother who lost his twenty three year old son suddenly,

‘It is only in Islamic teaching that we find a definite contentment from grief and loss. It is very effective and well tested.

At the times of grief and loss we recite

أنا لله و أنا اليه راجعون

“We certainly belong to Allah, and to Him we are bound to return.” (2:156)
However, it is a pity that we do it without contemplating on its meaning.
In fact the reality revealed in this verses is so immense that contemplating on its meaning will remove all grief. In it Allah conveys , that in relationships this (lost one) maybe your mother, wife, father or son, etc., however, all these relationships are temporal (majazi) and temporary. They have been created for effective functioning of the society in this world. Whereas, in this verse Allah makes it explicitly clear that nothing in this universe belongs to anyone. It all belongs to Allah alone.
Why is it so?
It is because Allah is the creator. They are all created. He created them from nothing. He is their sustainer. They all belong to Him. They can not comprehend the rationality behind His commands and magnanimity of His decrees. They have been instructed with these temporal relationships of being a father, mother, wife, etc. In reality they all belong to Allah and He alone owns them. Hence,
He has full right to deal in their affairs as He desires. No one can question or forbid Him.
Moreover, it is His mercy that He has informed us in advance that we are going to be afflicted with grief and loss either in financial issues or in status or with death of a dear one. And in these circumstance if we observe the patience that is required, that is, the proclamation of His Divinity and acknowledgement that every thing belongs to Him alone, then we will be rewarded with a compensation that is beyond our imagination. Moreover, we will receive His special mercy, salutations and be from the perfectly guided individuals. An immense reward indeed for patience.
How can a person grieve when he acknowledges that everything belongs to Allah alone, He has full right to do whatsoever and He does so with absolute wisdom.’
Shaikh Mohammad Kaleem sahib db’s residence. Darul Uloom Karachi, Sunday, noon, 18th December 2012.

 

 

 

Way to islah

Hakim al-Ummah Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi (Allah have mercy on him) instructed,

‘Pray two rakah salah with intention of making repentance and then supplicate as follows;

O Allah! I am Your obstinate disobedient servant.

I want to become obedient but nothing happens with my desires. However, everything is possible only with You.

I want to reform myself but I lack the determination to do so. Only You can reform me.

O Allah! I am extremely inapt, severely corrupt and very sinful. I am failing. Please, help me!

I have a weak determination to resist temptations of sinful activities. Please, give me the power to do so.

I do not have anything for salvation. Please, provide me with the means of salvation from Your hidden treasures.’

For ten or twelve minutes  make repentance arduously. Then say;

‘O Allah! Kindly forgive all the sins that I have committed till now. Though I do not say that I will not commit them again. I am aware that I will do them again. However, I will ask for forgiveness again.’

In this manner daily ask for forgiveness, acknowledge your weakness, supplicate for betterment (islah) and verbally recount your ineptness, corruption and evilness. In short, debase yourself explicitly in front of Allah daily for ten minutes.

O brothers! Neither take the medicine nor abstain from the harmful, only use small quantity of this elixir daily prior to sleep.

In few days you will observe that from Divine sources your determination will become strong without facing humility and hardships. Overall, things will happen from Divine which you can not even imagine now.’

Waaz: Milat e Ibrahim, Volume 31, page 390, quoted from Majalis e Hazrat Eshrat ra, page 13-4

 

Our purpose

Shaikh Khawaja Mohammad Ma’soom (Allah have mercy on him) wrote,

‘The purpose of traversing the path (sulook) is not to become a Shaikh and take murids.

The goal is to fulfill the duties of being a slave of Allah without the involvement and resistance of the lower self (nafs).

Moreover, the purpose of this path is to achieve anonymity and ward off rebelliousness of the nafs and being self opinionated. This because the  acquisition of Gnosis (marifa) is dependent on these things.’

Maktoob, quoted via Tofah-tush-Shuyuk, page 49

Islahi relationship

Shaikh Mawlana Abdul Hafiz khalifa of Shah Abdul Ghani Phulpuri (Allah have mercy on them) said,

‘Many people develop an islahi (self betterment & improvement) relationship (with a Shaikh). However, few of them fulfill its rights.

The right of this relationship is to consult the Shaikh in every issue and follow his recommendations. There are very few individuals that follow the recommendations (thoroughly). One has to stay away from self opinion (khud-raiy) and self conceit (khud-beini). Otherwise, instead of proximity and pleasure (of Allah) one is distanced (further away) from Him.

This is a very clear but subtle path.

Only the individual who follows the recommendations thoroughly will progress on this path.’

Malfuzaat e Hafiziya, (pdf online) page 50-1

 

Instruction and own islah

The reviver of Islam Shaikh Ahmad Sirhindi (Allah have mercy on him) wrote to one of his deputies (khalifa),

‘Be concerned about your own affairs (that is, your relationship with Allah), so that you leaves this world safely (with eman).

In the hereafter certificate of authorization (ijazet-nama) or (increased number of) disciples will be of no help.

Indeed! While managing your own affairs if anyone comes (asking for guidance explicitly) with sincere yearning then instruct him about the path. However, do not make the instruction about the path (tariqat) your main goal and management of your own affairs subservient to this. Doing so will be an affliction and loss for you.’

Maktoob 228, quoted via Tofah-tush-Shuyuk, page 48

Signs of love of Allah

Hakim al-Umma Shaikh Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi (Allah have mercy on him) said,

‘The signs of genuine (perfect/kamil) love of Allah are,

1. Facilitation of obedience of Allah

2. Excessive remembrance of Allah

In absence of either of these two signs, the claim of loving Allah is a pretension.’

Waaz Sayyidi wa sanadi Mufti Taqi Usmani (Allah preseve him)