‘These days the main battle front for our nafs is in dealings with spouse.
The closer the relationship more are the chances of blameworthy morals to be manifested in behavior and attitude.
One has to take extra-precautions to avoid this from happening.
As rule one has to suspect him/herself to be the culprit, lacking proper adab and try the best to behave.
We should never ever try to do islah of our spouse!
This is the job of their Shaikh.
We have to focus on our own islah all the time.
Shaykh al-Hadith Qutub al-aqtab Mawlana Zakarriya Kandhelawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said,
“…there is one very important fact to which I wish to draw attention.
When the Elders passed away many people desired to see those special qualities which were part of their Shaykh (in those who succeeded them). But it is clear that all those who follow the Elders and are in their footsteps will be less gifted than the Shaykh, except in few cases, as Allah pleases.
Those people who do not see the qualities of the Elder in his successors and turn away from their Shaykh’s path of Tasawwuf, are only doing themselves great harm.
I began to see this very clearly since the time of Hazrat (Rasheed Ahmad) Gangohi (may Allah have mercy on him). During the era of the most prominent deputies of Hazrat, I saw many of their contemporaries, who were also attached to Hazrat through Bay’at. They saw that some of the special qualities which Hazrat had were no longer present in these deputies so they did not approach these deputies for spiritual guidance. This caused me a great pain and sorrow because these deputies (khulafa) were near to Allah and possessed ‘nisbet‘ (the perpetual, close and mutually favorable relationship with Allah). If indeed these people had become connected to one of these deputies (khalifa), they would have progressed greatly.
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As understood from the teachings of Hakim al-Umma Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanavi (Allah have mercy on him) under Shaikh Mufti Taqi Usmani’s (Allah preserve him) guidance ,
Islah is the betterment or reformation or change of heart (dil badalna) in such a way that the commands of Shariah are followed both in external and internal acts of worship to the best of one’s ability. This is essentially accompanied with acknowledgment of one’s severe short comings in trying to do so.
The real islah is that of the actions of the heart (amal e batini) first and then the outwardly actions that are produced physically are rectified. It is usually not the other way around. This is as mention in the blessed Prophetic saying (hadith of qalb).
The initiating foundation stone of islah is a flash of Divine attraction (jazab) that is bestowed on the selected individual. Its outwardly reason maybe reading something touching, attending a pious individual or place, dua of parents, shaikh etc. In reality it is a kind gift (fadhal o karam) of Allah alone. Everyone of us has to beg for this fadhal e adheem ardently in his/her dua. If the individual is really blessed then he/she will try to safeguard the effects of this Divine attraction by reforming his/her (dhari o batini) actions. If he/she is careless then this will fade away and even might not return ever. Allah save us from this deprivation. Amin!
Tasawwuf provides a frame work for developing this islah. The components of Tasawwuf, like one-to-one mentor-ship, discipline, regular routine, wird, pious gathering and recommended readings all act as catalyst in this growth of islah. However, the real things needed to do the chemical reaction of islah are the firm determination and sincere effort of the salik him/herself.
Catalyst alone can not do the reaction.
Bayah is not essential for islah. It is highly discouraged to be hasty in selecting a Shaikh.
The special nights of Ramadan, Eid, the blessed days of Zil-Hajj, etc. are ideal for asking for this fadhal e adheem of Allah.
Darul Uloom, Karachi
An individual proceeding for Hajj requested for special instructions in this regards.
Sayyidi wa sanadi Shaikh Mawlana Mohammed Taqi Usmani (Allah preserve him & facilitate for us benefiting from him) said,
‘Be vigilant in effectively utilizing your time (in virtuous deeds) during these blessed days.’
7th Zil Hajj 1433, Jeddah-Mina
The reviver of Sunna Shaikh Mawlana Abrarul Haqq (Allah have mercy on him) said,
‘Be vigilant in making supplications (dua) at Mina, Arafat and Muzdalifa.
Supplicate excessively. Cry. If you can not cry then make facial expressions of a crying individual.
Learn to ask from children. How they ask for a thing repeatedly and eventually succeed. Learn it from the beggars who plead with tongue and their poor state. They have learned the art of asking. They are confident and content on their asking skills. Whereas, in reality asking from other fellowmen without a genuine reason is a fault.
But asking from Allah is a sign of submission and servitude. And not supplicating to Him is a fault.
So keep knocking on the door. Do not give up.
كھولیں وہ یا نہ كھولیں در، اس پہ ھو كیوں تیری نظر
تو تو بس اپنا كام كر، یعنی صدا لگاے جا
It is in biography of some of the pious predecessors that in Arafat they continuously made supplications from the zawal till sunset.
This is extremely precious time period. Do not waste it.’
Ma’arif al Abrar ra, page 226-7
assalam wa alaikum
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The reviver of Sunna Shaikh Mawlana Abrarul Haqq (Allah have mercy on him) said,
‘In the state of ihram one should recite talbiyah excessively.
Lot of people are negligent about this.
It should be recited when meeting someone, or bidding farewell to him, on getting on the ride or stepping down from it, on walking uphill or downhill, after the fardh and nafil salah. In the days of tashreeq recite takbeer first and then the talbiyah.
Recite it excessively all the times while walking and doing other stuff. Say it in a low tone. The prevalent way of reciting it in chorus collectively is incorrect.
In Islam there are supplications prescribed to be recited at various occasions. However, in the state of ihram there should be vigilance in recitation of talbiyah at all the times and transitions.
This (ihram) is the dress of lovers. Hence, when dressed like a lover an individual should act like one. Roaming around repeatedly reciting that ‘I am present’, ‘O my Lord! I am at your service’.
This recitation of talbiyah should continue till the stoning (rami) on 10th of Zil Hajj.’
Ma’arif al Abrar ra, page 222
O my Lord!
By Your stature and esteemed respect!
I did not indulge in sin to rebel against You!
When I was disobeying I was neither unaware of Your position (as our Lord), nor did I deny Your retribution, nor did I consider Your watching me to be something minor.
However, my nafs incited and assisted me in indulging in these wretched acts.
The veil of Your concealment (as Sattar) made me pretentious.
I disobeyed You because of my ignorance. I disobeyed You by my actions.
Now who is going to save me from Your punishment?
If You excise the lifeline (of mercy and forgiveness) to me then what am I to grab (for my salvation)?
al-Murshid al Amin page 493-4
The Prophet (Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) said:
“Whoever performs Hajj for the sake of pleasing Allah and therein neither utters any evil words nor commits any evil deed, he will emerge from it free from sin as the day on which his mother gave birth to him.’
Virtues of Hajj by Shaikh al Hadith
The Prophet (Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) said:
“And the destroyers are: desires which are followed; stinginess which is obeyed; and a man being pleased with himself, and this. (last trait) is the worse of them (of the things which spiritually wrought destruction to one).”
Ujub is to attribute one’s excellence to oneself while being oblivious of the possibility of such excellences being snatched away by Allah. Ujub is a concealed and subtle trick of the nafs which always desires to occupy a distinguished rank (above others). The nafs obtains pleasure in this desire (of ujub). Allah detests one who considers himself to he distinguished, laudable and the receptacle of excellences.
Delight over the bounties granted by Allah is not ujub. Such true delight is not unrestricted and does not produce vanity since the fear of the elimination of the bounties is ever present in the heart. One realizes that the excellence or bounty which one has gained is purely a gift from Allah Who has awarded it because of some act or knowledge (which is also the favor of Allah), and one further realizes that Allah has the full power of snatching away the bounty at any time He desires. This experience of delight is therefore not ujub.
On the other hand, a person suffering from the ailment of ujub becomes neglectful and fails to recognize that the bounty in his possession is in fact a gift from Allah. One afflicted with ujub considers himself to be entitled to the bounties.
THE REMEDY
Always regard excellences and virtues which one possesses to be the bestowal of Allah. Contemplate on the power of Allah and fear the possibility of the gifts being snatched away. Ponder about your faults, both internal and external so that the notion of perfection and holiness is annihilated.
Path to Perfection, Mawlana Masihullah Khan (Allah have mercy on him)
۔